“i think you are a bad christian”

unmoving, upset, unbelieving.

ashamed

why would you say this?
why would you say this to me?
…is it true?

…

i have never thought of myself as a ‘bad christian’
but i’m not sure i’ve ever thought of myself as a great example, either.

sometimes i pride myself on the fact that i ask good questions in bible study
sometimes i pride myself on knowing all the words to a worship song
but most of the time, i feel too insecure to talk about my faith to anyone other than a fellow christian, within my christian fellowship.

i don’t know why it’s so hard to talk about with people i am close to, who don’t know jesus.

fear of judgement, probably?

…

i got a tattoo of an ichthys on my arm to remind myself of why i’m a christian.

we are fishers of men
we are here to talk about jesus
and as silly or as young or as naive as it may sound,
getting a tattoo was the reminder and strength i needed
i have no excuse now if someone asks me, it’s there forever
so let the conversations begin

because i am loved, and not judged, by God.