thoughts from inside the mosh | april 24, a chance the rapper concert

yeah i’ve been to a few concerts. i’ve seen maroon 5 twice, but our seats were way in the back…

mosh pit? no, i’ve never been in the mosh pit before.


small girls with big phones.
big dudes with small phones.

people furiously text friends blurry pictures of the stage.
snapchat, facebook, instagram messaging every single person
they know
to show off that the are standing and sweating in a forest of people
they don’t know.

peer pressure to smoke the blunt, it passes around me and my small squad.

the hesitant girl who took a drag immediately looks concerned.
what has she just done???
she brings her hands up to her throat.
it hurt and she feels bad now.

it moves further on,
and the air fills with ever expanding clouds of smoke
giving us our very own second-hand high.

during the openers it gets super aggressive.
people are trying to get up to the front by way of jumping.

‘we gotta wait for the mosh then we gotta push thru!’ 
-some guy behind me
locked knees, i’m not at ease.
the jumping subsides as the spaces are filled
and the crowd backs up, realizing that they are smashing feet
and getting feet smashed.

the openers finish
random popular music plays on an empty stage
and my discomfort at standing among hundreds of sweaty, overalled, twenty-somethings steadily rises.

i am increasingly more aware of my body
and what it’s touching.

behind me, the in’s and out’s of a guy breathing rocks me like a boat, only i don’t get seasick, just claustrophobic.

i don’t know what to do with my hands.
and i end up touching people’s butts
and i end up hitting people in the head,
because my arms are weak and can’t stay up without support for that long.

i am small

this mosh pit thing is not for me
and just when i think i will reach my breaking point,
an hour with my closest companions,

chance graces the stage.


his voice rings, playing with us as he hides in the dark of the stage.

i jump,
i knock into people,
i yell in their ears,
and hit them in the head with my weak arms.

i enjoyed the hell out of that concert.



speed dating was so weird

i went speed dating at my school last week
and it was so weird!

i invited lots of friends to come, and three showed up, which i was very grateful for.
before the event, we tried to hype each other up for it, but most of us are introverts, so we were not looking forward to it that much.

i was asked by my own friends if i was ‘seriously prospecting’ or if i was doing it for lols.

i did it for lols, and because it’s a weird experience that you see in movies, but never really get a chance to do.

so it was pursued for lols and living out a movie.

speed dating was so weird.

the event started with the emcees telling us not to ask questions like, ‘do you know what chloroform smells like’ and then sending us off.
the girls sat on the inside of a square of tables, and the men rotated around us in three minute dates.

sit, shake, swoon
but not really.

it was more like,

‘hey, tell me about yourself’

‘so, what’re your hobbies’

‘this is me, blah blah blah’

the guys pretty much always started, which was a bit of a sad lady observation, that i didn’t actually really want to start the conversation… but i still responded, and when i did, i responded with the whole truth:


waiting patiently for the thing to start, SAMI, a small girl with newly bleached hair sits between strangers, splitting the coffee bean decorations with her nervous energy. a smiling dude takes a seat, shakes her hand, and introduces himself as DUDE.

hey, tell me about yourself

EHH that question is awful. it’s way too general for me to answer, ask me something else.

what? what am i supposed to ask?

just ask like, what’s your major…?

oh ok

silence and sami’s expectant stare. dude says nothing, so sami asks the question…

so… what’s your major?

dude answers, and then the timer dings and the thing starts all over again. sami loses more energy.

i was also spreading the gospel to at least half of the guys i talked to, and got some of the strangest responses from them.


shaved head, vest, and slow speech, GUY, who was way to old to be ‘prospecting’ college girls, tells sami about himself before asking her about herself.

so, what are some of your hobbies?


oh i believe in God

oh cool, would you want to check it out next semester?

oh maybe… i believe in God. but i only believe in four of the ten commandments

oh you know they’re all important

yeah, but i really hold these four to the highest respect

he counts them out on his fingers…

respect thy mother and father, don’t steal, don’t kill, and thou shalt not commit adultery

oh ok… do you go to church?

yes, sometimes… i went to church last week with my mom. and i’ll probably go this week too

as he explains his church schedule, the timer goes off, and he stands up to leave, and sami calls out to him with her last minute advice

ok. you should keep going to church!


and some guys were just completely stressed out.


JOHNATHAN, full suit, gelled hair, upside down name tag greets sami hand first. she takes it and shakes it.

hi johnathan! your name tag is upside down!

eyes wide, johnathan rips off the nametag and puts it right, on his chest.


sami has no idea how to respond with his stress, so she just lets him lead the conversation.


speed dating was weird.

but i’d do it again in a single heartbeat. ❤